Background information on the topic "How do I affect others?"

How Do I Appear to Others?

Often our conviction about how we appear to others does not match reality. This self-image/other-image incongruence is often a hindrance to successful action. A realistic self-assessment is therefore a must for everyone who is in contact with other people, both professionally and privately.

The diversity of our appearance is an additional complicating factor. Our effect on others changes in all areas of life. In order to develop our personality, it is necessary to focus on both our professional life, the 1:1 encounter, and our private life. The distortions in the perception of our self often stem from the will to conform to a certain self-created ideal. Above all, gaining control over non-verbal communication takes a lot of training, since it is usually automatic, i.e. unconscious. Non-verbal communication includes not only gestures and facial expressions, but also, among other things, the formation of sounds, filled or unfilled pauses, or the emission of sighs.

By analyzing one's own behavior, e.g. via video camera, self-reflection is facilitated and alternative behaviors can be practiced.
The first judgment, and thus the decision between accepting or rejecting one's own person, is made in the first few seconds of an encounter. This process is unconscious, and thus cannot be prevented. On the other hand, our self-image is capable of change. Accordingly, it is up to us to exert influence on the mediation of our self. It is necessary to let new influences flow into the concept of self-image, to retain existing ones and to avoid obstructive ones.

The Management Institute Dr. A. Kitzmann conducts the seminar "How do I affect others? - Feedback intensively" almost every other week in Münster, Hamburg, Berlin, Leipzig, Cologne, Frankfurt/M., Stuttgart, Munich, Vienna, Zurich and Warsaw.

Author: Management Institute Dr. A. Kitzmann